Sunday, August 27, 2006

No time for a Thank You

This keeps happening: I hold open a door for someone, and they just walk through, not saying a word. It happened twice in the last few days, and it just happened a few minutes ago, as I was entering the neighborhood coffee shop where I write this.

Each time it's happened, I've always said - loud enough for the woman to year - "You're welcome." Each time she turned and was like, "Oh, Thank you."

Now, here's the question: Am I wrong for expecting a "Thank you"? Do my actions constitute rudeness?

I say no. Sure, some people are so distracted with their next task or destination that they're focused solely on that. But, I maintain that the same sensory nerves that tell them that they have to push open a door to walk out of a room still apply when they realized that they DIDN'T HAVE to push open a door to walk out of a room.

In other words: No excuses. You know damned well that somebody just opened the door for your ass. You're not Casper The Friendly Ghost. You didn't just float through the door, and the door didn't just open. Thus, someone opened it for you.

So say "Thank you."

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Getting her Lotto on

Peep this clueless bitch: She stole more than $2 million from her bosses. For what? Lottery Tickets.

Yes, this idiot thought she could get away with swiping millions of dollars. According to the story, she used the money to buy lotto tickets. She actually, seriously, believed in her heart of hearts that she would win the lotto.

Quietly, this brings up another issue. Don't we all know somwone who swears up and down that THEY are going to win the lotto, and spend a fourth of their salary buying tickets? It's funny how every one of us are convinced that we are going to be the lucky mofo that's going to win.

I believe in faith and persistence, but this is going a bit too far. Though, to be honest, I did just read that the Mega Millions jackpot just hit $60 million.
Shiiiit, let me run and buy five cash option tickets right fast...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Fools on a plane

Why are fools still losing their minds on airplanes? Today, 12 people were arrested after acting out on a Northwest jet that had just left Amsterdam. A couple of weeks ago, it was morons planning to blow up to jets headed to the United States from London.

Here's the question here: Do fools still think that, after 9/11, they can still get away with random jet tricks? Perhaps they're trying to exploit a weakness in the system, hoping that, eventually, we will all become comfortable and lazy again, and forget about terrorism?

All I know is this: In this day and age, with people busy and trying to get to where they need to go, most people are not trying to put up with fools on a plane.

I'm impatient. When I travel, I like to get where I'm going. If someone wants to get all terrorist on a flight my black ass is on, they will get a beat down that rivals anything they may have gotten from their parents as a child.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

What if Tom Cruise were black?

So Paramount is finally admitting what the rest of us have known. Tom Cruise is out his damn mind. They're calling him out, saying he's, um, not quite right. They're yanking his contract, basically calling him a psycho. Can't say I blame them, really. Tom has been a joke for the last few years. For one thing, he keeps playing the same roles over and over and over again.

For another thing, isn't it funny how he's only dating someone when he has a new movie out? Tom can be "asexual" for years, but when he has a new movie coming out he suddenly head over heals in love with whatever heffa he has run into.

But here's my question: What if Tom Cruise were black? Would he be given the same leeway for crazyness? Hell no. He probably would have been shut down the minute he jumped on Oprah's couch. Or, shit, they probably would have ran his ass out of Hollywood the minute he started talking about Scientology. Can you imagine Will Smith getting away with telling Brooke Sheilds that she was "weak" for not doing natural child birth?

Monday, August 21, 2006

John Karr: Who gives a damn?

No joke. Who? Don't mistake: The death of a little girl is a big deal. As is the supposed capture of her killer. But, did we have to hear every detail of Karr's flight to the United States?

I was in Indianapolis for a convention last week, and as I was getting dressed in my hotel room before a presentation, MSNBC came on with a "breaking news bulletin about that Thai airways jet" they mentioned earlier. I was like, "Oh shit. Did a plane crash when a nigga was in the shower?"


The "breaking news" was that Karr was sitting in business class and had fried prawns for dinner.

It's bad enough that I have issues with the coverage of Jon Benet Ramsey's murder case (another blog), but the last thing I need is to hear about what every thing the suspected murderer did when he was on his extradition flight.

And, I'm tripping that this clown was in business class. My black ass can barely afford coach in most cases, and he gets BC? Crime pays.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Would Theo and Vanessa have become crackheads?

I didn't get The Memo.
Did ya'll get The Memo?

You know what memo. The memo that stated that Bill Cosby and Michael Dyson knows how to solve Black America's issues. You know: Poverty. Unemployment. Racism. Health issues.


Here we go again. Bill Cosby made some somewhat controversial comments and, yet again, some folks ain't happy. Michael Dyson, a man who I think is a genious and one of the most focused social commentators and sociologists in the country, has not been happy with Cosby since he made his first controversial remarks a couple of years ago, and sure as hell wasn't pleased with the brotha after some recent comments in Washington, D.C.

Basically, Cosby wants black folks to have more personal responsibility, to focus on our issues in our own homes and within ourselves. Which is essentially what he's always said.

Dyson has called Cosby out for simplifying a very complex issue. He feels that black people have to deal with racism (something that they have no control over), and that Cosby is being irresponsible.

I think they're both right.

Let's keep it real. There is some truth to what Cosby is saying. Black people need to get our shit together, need to stop buying our kids $150 shoes and worrying about to whom Kanye West is engaged. I know people who spend more time analyzing Beyonce's weave than their own damn bank statements. When was the last time any of us volunteered for a cause, spent time with young kids in high schools, or provided a bit of guidance to a young person who needs help? Hell, I'm guilty my damn self.

But it's simple to say "Just be good and life will work out." It won't. Shit happens. Life happens: Racism. Sexism. Homophobia. Age-ism. Class-ism. There are things we just can't control. That's what Dyson is saying, and I agree to a large extent.

This isn't an either-or issue. It's not a pick sides kind of fight. There are things here that need to be discussed and debated, and I'm glad that's being done.

But, hell, everybody is so busy calling each other out that they're missing what the other side is saying. Maybe the only reason they can communicate is by writing memos.

Memo to Bill: It's not that simple.

Memo to Michael: It's not that complicated.

Memo to Black People: Turn off BET.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

This mofo blog lives: Black by popular demand

Yes, a negro is back. And Black.

Been busy. Doing what, I don't remember. Work. Life. Shit. But I've neglected this blog like George Bush has neglected domestic policy: pathetically. My bad. This blog lives. Don't give up on a negro. This will be updated regularly. Not every few months, but every day, sometimes a few times per. I've realized that a blog is a living, breathing entity that must be fed with the personality of whomever owns it. I guess.

Yes, a negro is back.
Let's get this party started....

1) Some clowns in London were going to blow up two planes headed for the United States. Here's my thing: Why? What's the point? Ok, they blow up the planes and get their names in the paper. And? THEN what? Were they expecting a damn book deal? An appearance on Oprah? What was the goal here, other than murder and mayhem? And now they got caught.

2) Fidel Castro's brother took over Cuba. Apparently, F Dog is recovering from surgery, and for now Raul will be the boss. A Negro has a question: Who is going to take seriously someone named Raul? No offense to those with that name, and, I actually think it's somewhat of a cool name. But not for a dictator that's supposed to rule by fear. RAUL? Who is going to be afraid of someone with the name Raul? It sounds like the name of a stripper.

3) A Negro is obsessed with the Food Network. I can't get enough of that stuff. The other day I was watching "Restaurant Makeover" and was damn year yelling at the tv. I wonder why Alton Brown goes through so much stuff just to cook (though, Alton is my dawg, though). Maybe this is a later blog topic, but I've heard that the fastest growing demographic for the Food Network is single men in their 30s. Speaking of which...

4) A Negro just turned 34. More on this later, but it's amazing how time flies. I mean, damn, didn't I just celebrate my 21st birthday last week????