Tuesday, August 22, 2006

What if Tom Cruise were black?


So Paramount is finally admitting what the rest of us have known. Tom Cruise is out his damn mind. They're calling him out, saying he's, um, not quite right. They're yanking his contract, basically calling him a psycho. Can't say I blame them, really. Tom has been a joke for the last few years. For one thing, he keeps playing the same roles over and over and over again.

For another thing, isn't it funny how he's only dating someone when he has a new movie out? Tom can be "asexual" for years, but when he has a new movie coming out he suddenly head over heals in love with whatever heffa he has run into.

But here's my question: What if Tom Cruise were black? Would he be given the same leeway for crazyness? Hell no. He probably would have been shut down the minute he jumped on Oprah's couch. Or, shit, they probably would have ran his ass out of Hollywood the minute he started talking about Scientology. Can you imagine Will Smith getting away with telling Brooke Sheilds that she was "weak" for not doing natural child birth?

8 comments:

The Moderator said...

You're back. You're voice. I like it. Short and 2 the point.

The Diary of Me said...

If Tom Cruise were black would he be given the same leeway for craziness?

Hell 2 Da Naw...he woulda been sent packin' as soon as they had enough proof that he was tarnishing his image...better yet the fact that he was under a contract and was on national television making himself look foolish and then being that he was black had he not made any apologies for his foolishness (as Tom didn't) he woulda got the boot

jquinn said...

Two words: Martin Lawrence.

Top-billed in "Bad Boys" over a breakin'-out Will Smith and the next thing he's running down L.A. streets in his underwear like Smokey in front of Hector's car in "Friday."

Studios have no problem with controlled fury in their black men -- Sam Jackson, anyone? -- but they don't do crazy.

Yet if you're bankable and white they'll peel dollar after dollar off your crazy ass as long as they can.

John Belushi. Chris Farley. Marilyn Monroe. Joan Crawford. Self-destructive hurricanes of crazy. In private and in public.

And all white.

Drew said...

Diary, I agree. The MINUTE a black actor would have shown just an OUNCE of "craziness" he would have been shunned. And, as you said, Tom has made no apologies for anything, and that's a big no-no for white audiences as far as black celebrities are concerned. Contriteness is a must.

Drew said...

Jquinn, I think your idea of "controlled fury" in black men is a valid point. It does, after all, play into the stereotype Hollywood loves to advance of the angry black man. So, yes, they will put up with a certain level of anger from black actors. But the second it looks like things are going to skewer into "crazy", it's over.

Martin Lawrence is an interesting example, because he was always, in a sense, a bit "crazy." But that was part of his act. The minute he's seen running down the street in his drawers, however, it's all over.

Also, let's be real. Tom ain't gon starve. Another studio will sign a contract with him. He still has fans, and still makes money. But, if he were black, his career would be permanently ovah.

James Burnett said...

If Tom Cruise was black he'd be making softcore porn now, as that would be the only way he'd be allowed in front of the camera anymore.

The Diary of Me said...

Lmao @ James Burnett..you are so right. Not only would he be making soft porn, but he wouldn't even have an agent to find the jobs for him, he would be looking for work by his lonesome because no one would take him on as a client..

J said...

if tom cruise were black his career would have been over after war of the worlds. horrible, god-awful film.