Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Bling politician

Look at this fool. All upset because he got caught. This is U.S. Representative Randy "Duke" Cunningham, and he was just caught getting his bling on.

First of all, anybody with one of those middle nicknames in quotes can't be trusted. That means he's a simple-ass good 'ol boy who is sneaky as all get out.

Basically, this clown was caught accepting bribes. He got payments in cash, vacations, cars, and even had his house note paid. He got Persian rugs, antique furniture worth tens of thousands, use of a yacht, club fees and a Rolls Royce.

He resigned Monday, all teary-eyed and embarrassed.

Here's why this fascinates me: I'm amazed that there are politicians dumb enough to not cover their tracks? In this day and age, why would a fool take so much w/out making sure his shit was on the DL?

It also sort of feeds into the old-school view of politicans, that they're all crooked and corrupt. Once, as a teenager, I considered becoming a politician. I thought it was a noble calling and that I'd be helping people. Weeeeel, those were my naieve years. Clearly, by the time I reached college, my eyes had been opened: politicans ain't shit.

What do you guys think? Is is possible to be a politician and not be corrupt? Or are corruption and policy-making hand and hand? I think most of us would agree that politics, in general, requires some kind of deal making and compromising.

But how much compromise is too much? Is a politician a politician a politician?

Friday, November 25, 2005

$200 laptops and Walmart stampedes

Random thoughts about shopping madness........

* Suddenly, we don't know how to act when we go to the store. Since when is it cool to just trample all over people? Have yall been watching all the tv coverage of the Walmart tramplings? There were major incidents in Grand Rapids and Orlando. The photo above is from Orlando. Apparently, one guy cut in front of another guy in line and...well...you know how we do. All hell broke loose.

* Here's my thing: they went through all that for a $200 laptop? First of all, what laptop cost $200? And even if there is one, it's probably a piece of crap. Last year there were massive tramplings over $100 tv's. Helllo, people. You get what you pay for. There is no reason to trample human beings over a cheap piece of junk.

* Since when did "the shopping day after Thanksgiving" morph into "Black Friday"? That's what everybody is calling it now. I understand that it's supposed to mean that it's a day when stores make money, and are therefore "in the black," but, well, it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

* It's funny how people fight to the death when they go shopping, but don't bother to vote.

* One of the images from the Grand Rapids stampede was hilarious, though. One woman hit the ground, then her wig fell off. She laid there, calmly put her wig back on, jumped up and went running off. I wonder if she realize that's being played all over the country? Can you imagine your weave falling off and having everybody and their mamma see it?

Stop, thief!

So I woke up this morning and went out to my car to drive to work. My window was all busted out. Glass everywhere. And a note from the police. With a number to call. Apparently the police had already come, gone and filed a report.

What they stole: my ash tray and my vehicle registration and insurance from the glove box. How weird is that? I guess since they couldn't steal the actual car, they were like, "I'm finna make sure this fool can't smoke anymore! Haaa haaa haaaa!!!!"

Criminals are clueless. Why go through all that and not steal the car? I know one thing, if I catch the fool that did it I'ma whup upside his head. I mean, my car isn't a BMW or anything, but it took time (nearly the entire day, forcing me to take a vacation day from work) and money ($162.38) to clean up after whomever did this.

Now, I know living downtown has some risks. I see homeless people around all the time. They've never really been a threat. We do have a secured parking garage that I normally use, but that's on the other side of the complex, and sometimes I don't feel like going through all that. So, whenever I can find a spot in front of my building, I grab it.

Criminals are a trip. I've had no problems in the two years I've lived in this complex, but as soon as a holiday rolls around, they go crazy. What is it about holidays that make a criminal go "Hmm, let me break into somebody car right fast"?

When this happened, for a brief minute I understood the mentality of suburbanites. Crime is the main reason they flee cities. They are less likely to have to worry about car break-ins than someone who lives in the city. For a minute, for a very brief minute, I got it, understood the way they think about urban living.

Then I thought about it some more. Suburbia: Blandness. Everybody looks the same. Every house looks the same. Strip malls. Chain restaurants. Commuting.

Ugh. I get hives just thinking about it.

I then snapped out of it, got my window fixed, and reaffirmed what I've always known: I'm a city boy.

I breathe, therefore I explain

Why do I feel like I'm always explaining myself to people? To take it deep: why do I always feel like I'm explaining myself to white people?

At the end of the day, don't they owe an explanation to me? What's the counter-argument to this? "But Drew, we always have to explain ourselves to you, just as you explain yourself to us."


Know what trips me out the most? People who look at you like you crazy if you don't explain yourself to death. About everything!!!!!

Do I really need to explain to you that my parents are - yes - still married? And have been for more than 30 years? Why is that so surprising? Why are you so stunned that I actually went to college? And that my brother and sisters didn't go? Does that make me the good negro of the bunch?

Kill the antropology experiment. Quit trying to understand why we do the things we do. (You don't give a damn, anyway).

Obviously, not all white people are alike. Thank gawd. I've met some seriously cool white folks who, at the end of the day, are my best friends. (But, what's funny is, those same white folks agree with me about their own people!).

Yeah, ok. Look. I have no problem being all cool and shit, and I have no problem explaining myself to people who really, truly have an interest in figuring out what I'm about. If they're truly interested.

Ok rant over.
(Next blog: clueless-ass black folks)

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Ya'll help Terrell, or yall going to hell

Riddle me this: why is Jesse Jackson involved in the Terrell Owen's situation? Why isn't he someplace up in the government face, trying to figure out why they decided to send Katrina evacuees to Zimbabwe instead of leaving them in Louisiana? Why is he issuing statements and railing on behalf of a guy who, at the end of the day, is a millionaire who can take care of his damn self?

In short, why can't Jesse - just this once - shut the f---k up?

Now, hear me out. Jesse is my dawg. I'm a big fan. Always have been. If it weren't for him, the discourse on Civil Rights in this country would be almost non-existent. He's constantly out there pushing the agenda of the poor and voiceless, and for that I will always give him dap.

But, as we all know, sometimes Jesse need to shut the hell up.
Memo to Jesse: Terrell Owens is not an issue. He is a simple-ass, self-centered negro with no compassion. Worse case scenario for Terrell? He won't play for the Eagles. Arrogant as he is, he's talented, and will get another gig. Which means he'll, yet again, be paid millions. Which means he's not as needy as the people out there working hard and struggling to not get laid off. Those are the people that need prayer.

Aaron McGruder, the genius who draws The Boondocks comic strip and has the tv show, said in a newspaper interview a few weeks ago that the era of the black community rallying to a lone voice, a lone person, is long over. There are too many voices and different opinions in the black community for one person to represent us all. I agree.

I'm not playa hatin against another brother. I'm merely saying that Jesse got too much power and influence to be worried about Terrell Owens. Jessee, Terrell gon be ok. He won't be standing in line at the homeless shelter any time soon. Ok?

It's funny, because one thing my girl JHILL always says is that the FIRST thing black folks do when we get into trouble is call the preacher. It doesn't matter if we haven't been to church in decades. If something goes wrong, a press conference with a reverend ain't far behind.

Jesse is my dawg and all, but he need to spend his time trying help some real po' folks.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

STILL sick of Harry Potter

Earlier this year I wrote about how I'm sick of Harry Potter. The book was coming out, and clowns were running around town acting like the New Testament was about to be re-printed with a forward from God himself.

Now, we got THE DAMN MOVIE. All I been hearing about all week is Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter. A few people I know went to an advance screening last weekend, and all I've been hearing about is detailed analysis of the shit.

"Drew, what did you think of Harry Potter?"

"I didn't see it."

A long pause. A stare.

"You DIDN'T??? Why???????"

Uh, because, as Cedric the Entertainer said, "I'M a grown-ass man." I have no interest in seeing lil' kids flying around on brooms and shit. I'm all for embracing the inner child, but this is one time where I'ma have to sit it out.

I'm six books and four movies behind in the Harry Potter saga, and I don't give a damn.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

White Power!

These two heffas are a trip. Check out the image on the t-shirts: a grinning-ass Adolf Hitler. Great. Just what we need: two smiling, grinning teenage racists.
They're young singers who happen to sing about...race. Specifically, the White Race. And how great it is. Better than all the others. They call themsleves "Prussian Blue."
They've been all over the news the last few weeks, and 20/20 did a piece on them.
Here's my thing: Why? Or, as my girl jhill and I used to say all the time, "What's all 'dat fo?" But what's scary isn't necessarily the fact that they're racist. What's scary is that, clearly, they've been taught all that garbage by someone.
First of all, they were home-schooled. Which yet again reinforces my objection to home schooling: the kids may learn quite a bit and get intentive instruction, but they don't get any socialization with other kids.
Hence, we get two blank-faced, racist teenagers who are clueless about anything that goes on outside their little universe.