Sunday, January 22, 2006

"Anybody who doesn't like Oreo's isn't American"

So I'm cruising down the cookie aisle in yuppie, overpriced grocery store when I see a couple standing around, having what looks like a serious conversation. Looks like it's getting deep. Like earrings are about to come off and 911 is about to be called. They looked like they were on some Whitney and Bobby stuff, for real.

Apparently they were discussing what kind of cookie to buy for some event.

Suddenly, Yuppie Boy is like: "Anybody who doesn't like Oreo's isn't American."

He said this with confidence. As a statement of fact.

Well, my black ass must not be American, then, cause I can't STAND Oreo's.

They suck. They taste dirt mixed with icing. I've always hated Oreos. As a kid, whenever I encountered an Oreo, (I think my older sister liked them, and we would have them in the house every now and then) I would always break them apart, lick out all the icing, and toss them.

This reminds me of a conversation that me and Jemele had while in Vegas. I'm sick of people looking at me like I'm crazy because I don't like shrimp. I know it may seem "unamerican" or whatever, but I just don't like it. Just like I don't like Oreos.

And don't get me started on the negative connotation Oreo's have in black culture. As most of us know, a person who is considered a "sellout" is often called an Oreo: black on the outside, white on the inside. It's a slur. And it's one that's often unfairly used. It was used to run my boy Dennis Archer out of Detroit when he was trying to turn that jacked up city around.

Not that there aren't clueless negros out there - Clarence Thomas, please stand up - but calling someone "white" on the inside is ridiculous, un-measurable and qualifies a human beings values (i.e. "white" values versus "black" values). There are no white or black values. We're individuals.

Anyway, back at yuppie overpriced grocery store, apparently Yuppie Girl was trying to convince Yuppie Boy to get a more "adult" cookie.

"Well, maybe we should get a cookie that wasn't made for 14-year-olds."

I'm with Yuppie Girl: grown people should not be eating Oreos.

Unless you're Clarence Thomas.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Negro Republicans

Lynn, Lynn, Lynn. Thought you were cool, bro.

So Lynn Swan is running for governor of Pennsylvania. As a Republican. Well, ok then. If that's what floats your boat.

But let me toss this out there: I don't get black Republicans. Sure, I can understand someone being a "fiscal conservative". Shit, I'm conservative when it comes to money. In that context, I can see someone looking at the Republican party as the "money" party and, perhaps, aligning themselves with the party, based on similar (fiscal) beliefs.

But here's the problem: when you vote Republican - regardless of the reasons - you're also rubber-stamping their idiotic social policies. And, trust me, Republican Social policies don't give a damn about black people.

Or Hispanics. Or Asians. Or Gays and lesbians.

I have no problem with black people or any minority voting how they want. No one group is monolithic. However, we need to realize that, even if we're voting Republican for the "money" aspect, that doesn't mean we're going to benefit. Let's not forget: politicians in general don't like to share the wealth.

The GOP claims to want to reach out to minorities, but that's only because they see the inevitable changing demographics of the country. They want to reach out to us for the votes, but not share the money or the power.

Can we say South Africa?

Republicans are pimping us. Some people have said, "well, but Democrats have pimped us for years." True. And I don't hold out any expectations for Democrats, either. But, at the very least, I can align myself with some of their social policies and not feel guilty about voting for them.

I kind of see the Democratic Party as the lesser of two evils.

Friday, January 06, 2006

A nation of cold-hearted mofos?

Myself and co-worker/friend Eyeder are eating lunch at a restaurant. There is a television turned to CNN...

Damn, that coal mine disaster is a trip, ain't it?

I guess. I don't get it.

Me: Don't get what?

Eyder: Why it's such a big deal.

Me: You don't think all those people dying is a big deal?

Eyder: Not really.

Me: What? All those people died.

Eyder: Yeah, I know. That's sad. For them. But I don't really care. How does it effect me?

Me: Well, directly, I guess not. But it's a major human drama. These are working class people.

Eyder: So? What does that have to do with me?

Me: Nothing directly, I guess. But, shit, don't you think it's sad that all those people died?

Eyder: But people die every day.

Me: The FUCK you talking about?

Eyder: I'm just saying, yeah, it's sad, but what does it have to do with me? I don't really care.

Me: You sound like another friend who didn't think the Space Shuttle crashing was a big deal.

Eyder: Oh THAT was a big deal.

Me: And this isn't?

Eyder: No.

Me: I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree.

Eyder: I'm just tired of all the coverage of it.

Me: Oookaaay, what dat got to do with it?

Eyder: It didn't happen near Houston, so, why is this a national story?

Me: Uh, because so many people died at once? It's a human story.

Eyder: So?

Me: Never mind.

I mean, damn, everybody obviously got the right to their own shit, their own way of seeing things, but I just don't see how someone could look at things like the mine tragedy and not be moved. It's like looking at Katrina and the aftermath and not giving a damn. I actually know someone who didn't think that the space shuttle crash from a few years ago was a big deal.

Like I said, to each his own, but, shit, what happened to the gentleness and thoughtfullness that was supposed to return after 911? Is it just me, or are we becoming a nation of cold-hearted mofos?