Friday, July 22, 2005

Dumb TV

The talk last week of "Good Times" got me to thinking about my favorate shows, and the worst shows ever created.

Let's start with the worst. Here are the dumbest tv shows I have ever seen. Some of them are series. Some are specials. Some are current. Some are old school. All of them are ludicris as hell. I know i'm missing a lot, so feel free to add on.

Man vs Beast.
The premise: human beings square off in a round of olympic-like competitions against...animals.
My take: The world is going to hell when you turn on a tv and see a human being racing a giraffe in the 40 yard dash. Put it this way: I'm human. I EAT animals. I don't RACE against them. Who cares if a hyena can beat me in a sprint? I'm an evolved species that can think and do things.

The Secret Diary of Desmond Pheffier.
The premise: This was on UPN (that figures) about seven or so years ago. It's a a sitcom about - brace yourself - a slave in Abraham Lincoln's White House who records the various goings on in his lil diary.
My take: Triflin. Insulting. Dumb. What's funny is, this show tanked not because of the insulting premise, but because it was simply a horrible idea and wasn't funny.

Fear Factor
The premise: Human beings (you know, we evolved ones) eat rats and shove snakes down our underwear and stuff to win prizes.
My take: The true sign that mankind has lost it's mind. Who thought of this? Who thought it would be interesting to see people pick up a mouth full of roaches and move them to a jar?

Cop Rock
The premise: a musical cop show.
My take: An old school pick. Cops singing? WTF? The last thing I want to see is a cop twirling around on my tv screen. Go solve some damn crimes.

The premise: yet another black-orphan-adopted-by-rich-white-folks show. And it wasn't even funny on top of that.
My take: All I remember is, the mama in that show looked like a drag queen.

What's happeneing now
The premise: A remake of the old "What's Happening?" show.
My take: I don't care what's happening now. I cared about the show THEN. D was my girl, and this show didn't have D.


*Madosi said...

Ok so like three of these shows I have NEVER heard of ...

Oh and your "I EAT animals, I don't race them" comment made me think of Coral from the Real World when she said, "I don't WRESTLE, I *expletive* beat *expletive* up!"

Anyway, why you hatin' on Webster? I used to LOVE that show when I was little. Why? I really do not know. I guess it was just that he was Black and supposedly there was some "hope" behind him being adopted by these white folk and moved into a better neighborhood.

And Fear Factor ... I feel ya. There is not enough money in the world that would make me want to do the stuff they are doing on this show ...

A few stoopid shows, at least of today? Survivor, The Bachelor, Who Wants to be a Millionaire and That 70s Show!

J said...


not only was webster not funny, but what was up with him calling her m'aam all the time? was that some undercover, slave stuff or what?

you know how i feel about man v. beast. i mean, am i supposed to feel worthless because a groundhog can eat more than me? it's an ANIMAL. i'm HUMAN. i can think. they can't.

besides, they always do competitions the animals are sure to win. i'd like to see them have a SAT contest, or trivial pursuit. i bet a giraffe doesn't know who the 15th president is.

fear factor isn't as bad. all it does it show that most humans will eat rhino balls for money.

KLC said...

Why am I about to piss my pants at "Cop Rock"?!!?!?!?!!! Oh lawd!